well if I had any doubts about me still not sleeping much heres my proof.  3:45am and I am wide awake.  I don’t have a voice but I am wide awake.

 Lets see, so much has happened since I last blogged.  I started my job with a major corporation, and although it pays super well, I really an not happy at the end of the day.  Its dry, and boring.  I don’t get much contact with people besides the snobby mail room fucker that likes to poke fun at me just to watch me get angry, and Steff the other girl on reception when I work.

I smashed up my car pretty damn good.  I was driving down Dundas towards Church street, and some asshole who doesn’t get the concept of a 4 way stop plowed into me with his truck.  He hit me right behind my back drivers side tire, spun me around so that I was now facing the opposite way he was comming.  I just sat in the car and cried.  It was a bad week before that point, and it just got worse.

 My nan passed away on February 8th (day after car accident).  I felt as if my heart shattered that day.  I have a lot to say on this matter, but I don’t think words in a journal can really sum it up.  I loved my nan more then I ever thought I did, and I miss her more everyday that she is gone.  My nan left me a silver bracelette, I only take it off when I shower or go to sleep.  I will be going back east with my grandfather this summer to take her ashes home.

Speaking of travil, lets get back on a happy topic.  I went to Atlanta, got fall down drunk a few times, toured the city, and had a shit load of fun.  I was relaxed for the most part.  I did have a couple of rough days though, seeing as nans funeral was the day before we left.  But I still did my best, and smiled as much as I could, because she said from the minute I told her about our trip that she hoped I would enjoy it.

Lets see whatelse…… well the StagShop finally called.  Yep applied in November, and I interviewed for them yesterday eventhough I don’t have a voice left.  I was whispering at best yesterday, but I still had a good conversation with the guy that interviewed me.  He was nice, and eventhough it would be a major pay cut, I think I would enjoy that job much more then what I have now.  Time will tell and he said he will phone this week.

 Well I think thats about it.

wow, I didn’t know I could do that

Yesterday, Steve and I were fairly bored and decided to call my cousin Denis (more or less like my little brother), and his girlfriend (one of my good friends before they even met) off and on of the past 6 years, Amanda.  Mandy for shortness and not to be confusing in this blog.

 Now they didn’t have that much to do either, and Mandy said Aiden was kind of cranky and would be going to bed fairly early.  So we made plans with them and decided to head to Cambridge to play poker with them.  By the time we got there (lliquor store stop, and to be nice we grabbed a Pizza) Stacy (mandys sister)  Kayla (mandys cousin)  and Dean (Kaylas bf) were there.

 We all sat down, and poker began.  About 5 minutes into the game, Denis’ phone goes off.  Mandy gave him a look of death and he ignored it.  This kept happening all throughout every hand.  I eventually got pissed off with hearing Stewie Griffin and asked what the fuck he was doing.

Apparently before we got there, Manda (a different one) called him.  Now this bitch is crazy.  Denis dated her for a span of 2 months last year while him and Mandy were broke up.  I said, “oh, well why don’t you give me her number? She doesn’t know my number.”

After a few minutes Denis tells me her number and I text her, all my text said was “Hey bitch!  Shut the fuck up, we are trying to play some poker here!”

She text me back demanding to know who I was and how I got her number.

The game pretty much stopped at this point because they all wanted to know what I was saying to her.  We text back and forth having a go at eachother for about 10 minutes, when I has enough.

I text her and told her things that only myself, her and Denis would know. I called her just about every name I could think of.  Finally she text back asking me what business was it of mine about her and Denis.

Now I was angry enough that the bitch ruined poker night.  Dispite the fact that Stacey was kicking our asses and I was down a few dollars.  But now I was really pissed.  I sent her a big long text saying that she should come on over.  I could teach her how to be a lady, how to not be blantently be walked on the way Denis screams at her to fuck off only to have her call him saying ‘I love you, I’m sorry, don’t be mad at me’ and how to keep a man.

She stopped.

All was quiet for a while and we were all having a good time again.  Denis’ phone rings.  He hands it to me and says ‘have fun with her.’

I picked up, said hello and was greeted with “Wheres Denis?  You’re not Mandy. Wheres Denis?”

I ripped into her even further. So she hung up.  Then called back a little while later.  I told Denis to pick up, I was too busy having a conversation to bother with the bitch again.

Denis started laughing hystirically.  She was sobbing.  She begged him to ask whoever that was to just leave her alone, please.  He hands the phone back to me.  I said “well you know what Manda. Now you know what its like to be stalked.  You want me to stop, don’t ever call, text, or email my little brother again.”

In the past 24 hours, Denis’ cell phone has never been so quiet.

long week and still no job

I was working at Zellers last week.  That lasted 2 days.  One of them I went home sick.  I abandoned that job cause it sucked.

 I was a little stomach sick last week as well.  But that passed and Saturday brought my annual charity event at the bar.  Once again this year I dressed as a Miss Naughty, and was called bar wench.  I even gave all my tips to the charity again this year.  They selected the Toronto Sick Kids Hospital this year

 Monday till today I took care of my grandmother every morning. My grandfather was rushed to the hospital on Sunday morning.  First they thought he was having problems with his appendix.  Then they thought it was an obstruction of the bowl.  So they operated to remove this obstruction, only to find a tumor.  My grandmother is ok I guess, but we have to force her to get out of bed.  Wednesday I broke down and actually cried infront of her.  She just hugged me, told me it was ok, and not to cry.  I cried even harder when she called me her little Gray eyes for the first time in years.

I also ate dinner with my father last night.  Just me and him.  No arguements either.  He was here on his own will too.  He applogised to me for the way he has been with me for the past few years.  He also said that he knows what its like to almost lose his father, and because of his actions I lost my daddy a long time ago.  He then hugged me, kissed my forehead and told me that he was proud of me, and that I turned out to be a strong and independent woman.  He left then and went back to the hospital.

This morning around 5 am I was still not sleeping.  I was tossing and turning badly.  Steve insisted on me taking one of my seditives.  He made me take the whole thing.  I work up around 1:30pm.  That is the lastest I have slept in years.

still hunting

Today was meh.

 I went to my second job interview, which has practically changed my mind about wanting to work there.  She told me I would have to wear a retainer in my tongue.  Give me a fucking break.  If I wore clear balls on it, they would never know the difference.  Insted they want me to put a piece of pink plastic through my tongue hole and then expect me to be able to speak properly?

Gawd I hope the Stag Shop calls Friday.  At least I got another call for a job today.  My aunt works there and she said its not that bad.  It would only be a temp position for Christmas, but its 40+ hours a week.  I would be back to merchandising, but its better then nothing I guess.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

It was my fathers birthday today.  Dispite us having a love hate relationship (which is where we love to hate, but hate to love eachother) It wasn’t that bad.  We got him some slippers and pj pants.  He actually hugged me when he said thank you.  I think it was because he was neither sober, nor drunk the whole time we were there.  Not to mention Josh and Rion being there.

 But we left fairly early, because I had a job interview.  Yep a job interview, on a Sunday, at 7pm, with a girl named Cat.  It was odd, but it went well I would say, because I have a second interview tomorrow.

Its only a waitressing job, in this little cafe.  But money is money, and a job is a job.  At least I won’t be at home, bored and depressed if I am working.  She said its a fairly easy job, and the hardest thing is learning what is in each and every kind of coffee/drink they make.  The amount they serve is on par with Timothy’s or Starbucks.  And she said that if I get the position, I have to try every single one.  Good thing I like coffee.

I woke up this morning around 8am and could not get back to sleep.  Even after I took my medication I still had the worst pains ever in my lower back and stomach.   I finally got out of bed around 10:30, and had a warm shower to try and take away some of the cramps.  It worked pretty well, so I went downstairs, had a cup of tea and just sat on one end up the couch trying not to think about it.

 After they went away, I went by the shop, picked up my pay check, told Heather to go fuck herself (cause she wanted to play my best friend) and went Christmas shopping. 

Josh, Rion, Charles, James, Loni, John, Andy, Nikki, Mike, and Anna are all taken care of.  Now I just have to buy for both mine and Steves parents, his nieces, and his brother in-law.  And figure out what the hell to get Steve.  And now that I read all the people I shopped for today, I kind of wanna know why the hell does Steve have so many damn siblings?  I might ask his mum and dad that someday lol you couldn’t go with the standard 2 so you had 5?

 After that I came home.  Cooked some chicken and made a salad to go with it, finished up my necklace and wrapped some of the gifts I had bought.  Cramps started up again, so after that I just kind of sat with my heat pad and tried to relax.

Today was me mostly curled up in a ball with a heat pad, half asleep because of the medication I took to get rid of my cramps.  I was going to play lacrosse, but I just told everyone I was stomach sick insted.

 Once I started to feel a bit better, I made stuffed french toast.  Just like the kind someone *hint* happened to tell me IHOP makes.  I am too impatiencent to wait till my vacation, so I made it myself.  It was fairly good.  Probably not even close to what they make though.

 Half way through my dinner, Lynn phoned and said lacrosse sucked cause she didn’t have anyone to randomly tackle other people for her.  So she was tackled a lot.  I normally cover for her while she runs with the ball.  So she had showered and such, was bored and still wanted to see me.  So she came over and I told her what was really wrong with me.  She kind of notaced I was not stomach sick when I was just finishing my dinner as she got here.  So we just sat, had a cup of tea and talked.

 She went home around 9 and I watched a little TV and started to fix my necklace as I ment to about 3 days ago.

Since that I have sat and cuddled with Steve, and attacked vf.  Although it kind of blows right now cause everyone is off eatting  their turkey dinners.  I know someone had better of eatten that pumpkin pie for me *grin*.

About 10 minutes ago I heard a scream outside.  Its the kind that makes all your hair stand up on your arms and the back of your neck.  2 minutes later sirens.  Did I go outside to see if anything was wrong?  Hell no!  Why? Because I value my life.  I really can not wait to move out of Toronto, or at least this area.

Kayla, you should feel special.  I know you are the only person who is going to read this, and this fucker is slow!

 So today I woke up, grabbed a cup of coffee and had breakfast with Steve.  It was a nice change cause he normally doesn’t eat breakfast.

 After that I went to the gym for an hour or so.  Showered and changed and dropped off resumes for the better half of the day.

Mid way through, my phone rang and it was Jeff.  We meet up for yet another coffee and chatted for a bit.  After that I went to his place for a bit and listened to him and Manny fight over final fantasy 12.  Then there was a comment about Jeff giving someone his rod and then something exploding in his face.  Disturbing at best.

 Got bored of them, and I went home.

 Wow I am ever so exciting.

First entry

I would like to start by saying that getting this blog has not been easy.  First it wouldn’t take my email, then I couldn’t remember my other email addresses password.

 But whatever here I am and I doubt I will write in here more then 2-3 times.

 I have been un-employeed for a full week now and I am bored as fuck.  Heres hoping I find something soon, if not I might go completely nuts.